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Getting Your Apartment Ready For Love

Posted on August 11, 2019 in Uncategorized

Looking for love? Or worse…looking for love in all the wrong places? I think we all know by now that it’s all about living for fun, and just about everyone agrees that much of the fun in life comes from finding the right person to share it with.

From regular, day-to-day pursuits like grocery shopping, working out, or preparing a meal, to life’s more exciting adventures like traveling, going out, or getting close (and maybe a little adventurous), setting the right mood is imperative to finding love. Then when the time is right, the right ambiance in your apartment can make all the difference.

Let’s say you’ve gone out on a great date, the conversation’s fantastic, and it’s time to make a move. You’re looking to make the action in your apartment a little Carmen Electra and a lot less Electric Company. So what can you do to get that Electra? I’d like to call myself a bit of an expert on the subject. Some may even go so far as to call me a professional. Okay, I think pretty much everyone might say that it’s a self-proclaimed title, but let’s let bygones be bygones and get down to the nitty gritty.

Since I’m such a sharing guy and want my vast knowledge to help every apartment-ite it can, I’m going let you in on some great steps that’ll help you get your place ship-shape for love. Some of you out there need a lot of help (you know who you are) so make sure to pay attention. Take notes if you want to, but let’s get your apartment ready for love!

Step # 1 For the Love of cheese, Clean Up

No one, and I mean NO ONE other than Grover gets hot and bothered amid a mess. Pick up around the place, clean up the dirty dishes, get that vacuum in gear, and don’t be afraid to actually clean your own toilet for once. Trust me, fellas, ladies don’t want to see [BREAK] the mold around your sink and the ring around the tub either. Soap scum will make you look like a lazy bum. Hire a maid if you have to. Just make sure your place is as dust, dirt, and clutter free as Mama would’ve wanted.

Step # 2 A little night music

When you head for the iPod, think soothing and sexy, not getting’ down and dirty. This one might depend on your personal definition of “soothing,” but Marvin Gaye is always a great choice. A nice acoustic sound like John Mayer or Jack Johnson will always set a great mood too. Plus, other than only turning up the heat, music therapy has proven to provide real health benefits as well as reduce stress. You’ll want to stay away from anything that could potentially bust an ear drum or makes you want to drive fast in the car. Anything you have to scream over to have a conversation won’t get anywhere. And no, the new Snoop album won’t work either. Offensive lyrics do nothing, but kill the mood.

Step # 3 Aromatherapy

There’s a reason the perfume and cologne industries rake in billions. Pleasing scents have been proven to soothe stress and can also foster romance. You can use candles, sprays, or even burn a little incense. But don’t overdo it. You can go from suave to cheesy pretty fast with too much smell good. Keep it subtle. Remember: scent is the number one sense associated with memory. Smell great and you’re bound to leave a lasting impression. Smell bad and you’re bound to leave their nostrils flaring and send them running.

Step # 4 Comfort is the key

If you’re going to spoil yourself with one expensive piece of furniture, make it a couch with plenty of room for getting to know one another. A couple of smooth recliners may look great and be heaven watching games or movies, but won’t help at all in putting a move on your date. In absolutely no situation should you ever find patio furniture or fold-up chairs anywhere else, but on the patio. Moral of this story: Go with that nice comfy couch. That after-dinner drink can turn into much more with the help of a comfy couch that just invites adventure.

The final step…Make it Your Own

Your apartment is your home and it speaks for you before you ever say a word. Remember that when someone walks in, they’ll make judgments about your style, your tastes, and, yes, your sex appeal based on how it looks. Pay attention to the details and you’re on your way to getting more than just a good night’s sleep.